Today my husband Iohann and I celebrate five years of marriage and nineteen years of living together. I feel like pinching myself—stopping time for a few seconds to take in the beauty of it all and reflect upon the secret behind our healthy relationship—considering my previous relationships never lasted more than a couple of years. In the beginning, we made a promise to always be respectful towards each other, not to yell and to grow hand in hand. But there’s more…
What most fascinates me about our relationship is the EMOTIONAL PENDULUM effect we have on one another. He becomes my beacon to guide me through my darkest moments. And when he experiences tough times, I stay strong and take the lead. We work as a team to create balance, each taking turns acting as a level—not a bad tool to have in your couple’s toolbox!
Love can seem so complicated. But it doesn’t have to be. You simply need to bring a daily dose of SUNSHINE to the couple. The biggest challenge will forever be FORGIVENESS: forgiving the day-to-day hiccups, big or small, closing the door on resentment—an emotional poison that can truly wreak havoc. Time has taught me that this is the magic potion for lasting relationships.
The last ingredient concerns change: accept what cannot be changed, like the person’s inherent personality traits, including the qualities, flaws and fears that are out of our control. This becomes especially apparent when you have kids and see that they come into the world with their own unique psychological traits, already deeply rooted. This said, is it really realistic to meet a grown man or woman and think you can actually change him or her? On the flip side, evolution can also be a big issue. Iohann stood by my side as I soul searched to find answers to my inner turmoil. After, I’m not sure he found the same woman he had fallen in love with nearly 20 years ago, but he definitely found a woman with greater self-confidence, ready and willing to move mountains for the family we have built.
After all, love is the greatest life lesson and will guide us through our entire existence. Here we are now, five years after the day he gave me a surprise wedding. In those days, grey hairs were still scarce and reading glasses were not yet in the picture. What better way to celebrate change!