Do you think your mother told you all there is to know about things like sex, men, feminism and anxiety? As a mother, would you be willing to answer all your kids’ questions on any subject?
On the website Stuff mom never told you, Cristen Conger and Caroline Ervin decode women’s lives with a comical twist and reveal what our mom would never have told us about our health, our body image, the differences between men and women, marriage, men, fashion, relationships and psychology, to name but a few. Each topic is then explored in greater depth. Regarding women’s health, they tackle the new ankle surgery craze, mastectomy tatoos, the day-after-pill as a possible easy fix for “bad” girls, at what age we should first see a gynaecologist, why men are shaving more and more of their body, the history of wrinkles, and why our mothers taught us not to shave above our knees.
MISCARRIAGES AND GREETING CARDS
One of the site’s very popular podcasts is about miscarriages. Caren and Caroline interview Dr. Jessica Zucker, psychologist specializing in female reproductive mental health. In 2014, she teamed up with the New York Times to launch the #IHadaMiscarriage campaign to raise awareness of the effects of having a miscarriage: isolation, shame, guilt . . . Dr. Zucker is very familiar with this subject. For many years, she has treated women who have had miscarriages. She herself had a miscarriage three years ago.
Why are miscarriages such a touchy subject? According to Dr. Zucker, it is because people do not know how to react. When a grandparent passes away, we go to the funeral home, or send a card or flowers. But what do you say or do when a close one has a miscarriage? Zucker strongly warns against blurting out things like “It must have happened for a reason!” She says that downplaying the loss will not help, it will only cause harm. With the objective of tearing down barriers and countering isolation, Dr. Zucker has created greeting cards for those who have experienced such a loss. The messages are real, straightforward and touching.
She has also created a birth card that parents can send to close ones to help deal with the loss.
What most surprised her throughout the #IHadaMiscarriage campaign? The fact that women could actually think that they were to blame for the miscarriage because they had been physically or sexually active, that it was some sort of karma, a payback for some previous mistake they had made in their teenage years . . . These cards are therefore an effort to “normalize” miscarriages (nearly 15% of pregnancies can lead to a miscarriage) and shed light on the shadow such a loss can cast on a person’s life.
With its finesse, sensitiveness and shrewdness, the website www.stuffmomnevertoldyou.com should definitely be in your favourites.